Archive | January 2014

Panic City II

Okay, so, dodged a bullet with The Gas Company until February 6. But getting nowhere with funds for pharmacy pick-up and a few sundry items (including something to eat). And now I really am beginning to panic.


Panic City

As soon as this fever goes down I shall commence to freaking out over how I’m going to pay my past due Gas Company bill with service scheduled for shut-off today if a minimum past due of $247.47 is not received by 5:00 PM PST. (total due is $271.87).

I also have three med refills to pick up at CVS today.

And the grand total balance on Paypal this morning, with three days until payday, is … $4.17.

Panic time.

Above the waterline …

Four days away from payday on Monday, a direct debit bill payment I overlooked dinged my Paypal account this morning dinged my account for $46.48, leaving me no funds for food and meds.

Getting a solid grip on the household bills now that Lela is not around to manage them any longer is proving to be an arduous process, especially since I have been ill with various ailments since Christmas and, as a result, rather distracted and unfocused.

With a monthly stipend of around $980 from SSD, rent at $500, medical copays running between $100-150 monthly, there’s not a lot left over for bills, which is why I’ve been compelled to float two payday advance loans monthly — costing me an additional $100 a month in interest fees — just to keep the boat above the waterline. If I could get the loans paid off and the utility bills current, I might be ahead of the game but at present I cannot envision how that scenario could become a reality.


Still sick and five days out from payday. Need to go back to bed soon but if anyone can help with a small amount of funds for a few RX and OTC meds as well as a spot of groceries, that would be a huge help.

Thank you …

Black Dog

Since February of last year I have been wrestling with the biggest and blackest dog I’ve ever confronted in my 54 years, a depression so complex and deep that it defies description.

I do not know how, if, or when I will pull out of this downward spiral. External factors, especially over the last few days, have only compounded the matter. For starters, I’m trying to make sense of the household bills, which was previously Lela’s domain. I mean, I knew we were in arrears but $500 for electric and $400 for the gas bill? I do not have that kind of scratch.

And then there’s the laundry issue. I do not own a washer and dryer, so the laundromat is my only option and it’s not easy to get to on the bus; and there’s also about one year worth of laundry stacked in the closet. I’ve been sporting dirty garments for the better part of a month, if not longer.

There’s $1.24 on Paypal to get me through until February 3, I’m still sick as a dog with the flu, and there’s no food in the house now that my appetite is slowly beginning to return (I have not eaten in four days).

I’ve seen better days.

Health-wise, I just have not been able to catch a break since two days after Christmas; first there was the herniated disc in my back, which is still giving me trouble, and the inner ear issue, and now I’ve had the flu from Hell for two days.

In the interim, I’ve been trying to get a handle on the household bills, which used to be Lela’s domain. I mean, I knew we were behind in our payments, but $500 owed for the electric and $400 for the gas company? Seriously? And I owe $100 to my doctor’s office before I can go back in for another consult, which I need to do soon.

Charley Horse

In my thirty-odd years of writing and publishing I’ve never been more proud than when I received my contributors copy of the “Red Moon District” anthology from Underground Voices and discovered that my original short fiction piece, “No Style, No Grace, No Mercy” was placed at the front of the book, the very first story in the collection. I don’t believe I’ve ever been more flattered professionally in all my years of scribbling. Not a bad way to start out the new year.

On the other hand, things have been silent here at the blog due to a bad reaction I had to the prednisone blast my doctor put me on to bring down the inflammation from the herniated disc in my lower back.. Name a bad side effect from prednisone and I had it in spades: stomach upset, vomiting, fatigue, nervousness, sleeplessness. This went on for the better part of a week and a half and I’m only just now beginning to recover. I still have a bad pain in my lower right leg, akin to a charley horse that will not go away.

Financially, I’m on the road to recover, however, but things are going to be dicey for the next month or so. I was compelled to overdraft my checking account on Tuesday to buy groceries after the cost of eight prescription medication refills cut into my monetary reserves for food. From now until the third of February I am flat broke, with no way to pay my gas and electric bill and certainly no groceries after today.