Eggs and Irony

They have eggs!

They have eggs!

One iron rule of poverty is that no matter what you have at a given point you’re going to need or crave something that is unattainable. In this morning’s case it has been eggs. I have been craving eggs all morning.

Fried eggs, scrambled, egg salad, poached, I do not care in what form of fare, as Theodore Geisel would say, I want eggs. But, alas, the funds that came in late yesterday have been thrown to the winds and eggs are not in the offing.

There may be, however, a good reason I’m craving eggs. In the last couple of weeks I have been experiencing what’s called breakthrough pain, which is pain that presents itself once a patient of psoriatic arthritis and chronic pain syndrome has been weaned off narcotic painkillers; in my case it has been severe upper back and lower right leg pain. This morning it took one 400 MG Ibuprofen and one of the last of my Hydrocodone tabs to make the pain recede momentarily.

Today my focus is on raising a few bucks to get my RX-strength Ibuprofen refill picked up and to be able to take five bucks cash back to have three dollars available to tip the Domino’s Pizza delivery driver tonight. Our dinner, thanks to a kind patron, is arriving via an online Domino’s certificate but I have no cash for a tip and the ordering form does not allow the user to write in a gratuity when using a redemption certificate — and I’ll be goddamned and go to hell if I’m gonna stiff a Domino’s driver. Irony abounds: here I am concerned about a minimum wage worker’s gratuity when I don’t even have the funds for my next doctor appointment, one that is urgently needed.


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About Rodger Jacobs


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